Question::
Hello, I have a question and I really hope someone can answer. I consider myself an agnostic. Many people tell me I am really a weak atheist and after reading the rrs article I am wondering. So, I will explain my outlook here and hope someone answers. Forgive me this will be a bit long.
I'm quite a skeptic (and that is the term I like most) although I am sometimes spiritual and attend a Unitarian-Universalist church from time to time, but I am not religious and go back and forth on the whole god" issue-if you ask do I believe in "god" my answer is honestly, "I don't know". I would like to, but I've seen little to no evidence to convince me. If someone asked do I deny the holy spirit, I would hesitate to use the word "deny", but I would say "I doubt the holy spirit". Is doubt the same as deny? I do have a fondness for pantheism and deism, but I hesitate to call myself either b/c while they make more sense that outright theism and religion, there is little to no evidence for either of those either.
Sometimes I do think there might be a god (I hesitate to say "I believe", just "I think there might be"), but when I do I think of the deist or pantheist conception of a higher power, as the religious theistic one makes little sense to me-I think there is quite a low probability that one exists. Other days I think there is no god. I literally go back and forth, although I will never say "I know" on either. Which way I "lean" literally depends on my mood and my research. I grew up liberal catholic and I still like some of the rituals (though they are just rituals to me now), as well as some of the meditative aspects of Buddhism.
Does this really make me a weak atheist? Is doubt really the same as a lack of belief? I ask b/c it just sounds weird-an atheist who sometimes thinks there might be a god? That sounds kind of odd to me.
I do think religion (especially the fundamentalist form and Islam) is a big problem in this world, but I do have many liberal religious friends as well as non-religious friends, and we get along fine. I support separation of church and state, obviously. I'm not someone who says I'd like to get rid of all religion, but I would certainly like to see the most fundamental forms gone or at least have no power. Honestly liberal religion doesn't bother me, I don't care as long as it doesn't infringe on my rights to not be religious. I like many of the points the "4 horsemen" make and am glad I do not live in the bible belt-I feel very sorry for the nonbelievers there and I do think speaking out about stuff like that is good.
Anyways, what in the hell am I? I use agnostic (though I prefer skeptic) b/c I doubt seriously and my answer to god claims is "I don't know-I would like it if there was, but I see little to no evidence for one". Maybe this makes me a "fence sitter" but it is honestly how I feel and who I am, at least right now.
I live my life this way: I try to be the best person I can be and help people. I figure if there is a god, hopefully he/she/it will judge me by my actions. If there is not one, then I still will have lived a good life.
Sorry for the long post. Just this has really been on my mind and would really appreciate an answer. Thanks.